Sunday, November 6, 2016

Training Day

Sit! Stay! 

Sit! Stay! Heel! Leave it! The SJG is in training. That's right. I'm a work in progress. I need to relearn the commands I thought I knew. So I've hired a great gal named Shawn to tell me how to behave. Shawn calls "Sit!" I sit. I'm so good at sitting. Once I plop down, it's hard to get up. When Shawn calls "Stay!" I'm happy to obey. I'm so good at staying. I've mastered it. Sit! Stay! The SJG excels at these commands. When Shawn calls, "Heel!" I try not to wobble. I'm plenty aware of my heel, the left one in particular, you know, with the plantar whatchamacallit. I baby my heel, I do. I insert my sassy orthotics daily before I head out the door. In this way, I remain upright without too much whining. When Shawn calls, "Leave it!" I'll admit, that's a challenge. Leaving food on the plate seems dumb, not to mention counter-intuitive. Why Leave It! when it's right in front of you? That's so rude. Food left on the plate insults the host. It's just wrong. Turns out, Blakey, the lab mix of debatable DNA, a Jewish dog in training -- he's a little this, a little that -- is learning some things, too. Like me, he's good at Sit! He's good at Stay! He's better at Leave It! than me, which hurts, but I'll get over it. As for Heel! That's a work in progress for Blakey, too. With any luck, and a lot of help from Shawn, the SJG will be walking this spunky guy and getting him to Heel! before I get too old to walk, unassisted. It's something to shoot for. Goals are so important, don't you agree? Please say you do. I'm too tired to argue with you.

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