Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Special Orders Don't Upset Us

Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce, special orders don't upset us. Except maybe an order like this:
"I'd like a bupkis burger."
"Excuse me?"
"A bupkis burger."
"You don't know from bupkis?"
"No, ma'am, I don't."
"It's Yiddish for nothing."
"So what you're ordering is -- ?"
"A bupkis burger."
"Let me get Freida, the manager."
"You do that. But hurry. I'm starving!"
"Hello, I'm the manager. Is there a problem?"
"I hope not, Freida. All I want is a bupkis burger."
"A what?"
"A nothing burger."
"Nothing in the burger?"
"Yes. As in, 'where's the beef?' Not in this burger, baby. Nothing burgers are very big in Washington. They're always saying, nothing burger this.. nothing burger that. I like to keep up with the trends, Frieda."
"So... just a bun with nothing in it?"
"Nada. Zilch. Bupkis."
"Would you like fries with that?"

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