Saturday, July 8, 2017

The Eternal Question

Dear SJG,
It's not even 9 a.m. and it's hot. Why is it so hot? Why must I endure such discomfort? Why is this happening to me?
Schvitzing in the S.O.
Dear Schvitzing,
A quick, underfunded, unscientific study reveals that the heatwave is in fact related to something you said back in 1967 while playing dodgeball at Warner Avenue Elementary School. As the ball hit you in the tummy and you went flying through the air, you exclaimed, "Why me?" Ever since then, and even before, things have been happening to you, and this includes the weather, along with the good, the bad, the WTF, and the in-between. Why? I'll tell you why. Because that's just the way it is, bubbala. So make chilly in the house, get the kvetching under control, and remember what your No-So-Great Aunt Gertie said once as she slurped a nice big bowl of Borscht: "This too shall pass." And then, she burped.
You're Welcome,

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