Business Is Business

The time is the French Revolution. 
Yossi lived in a small village and one day, his friend Roberto came to see him after returning from a trip to Paris. 
Yossi asked Roberto what was happening in Paris, as he had heard they were regularly using the Guillotine.
“Yes, you heard right," Roberto said, “conditions there are as bad as can be. They are chopping off people’s heads in their thousands.”
“Oy vey," moaned Yossi, “whatever will happen to my hat business?”

Sharon had lived a good life, having been married four times. Now she stood before the Pearly Gates. The angel at the gates said to her, “I see that you first of all married a banker, then an actor, next a rabbi and lastly an undertaker. Why? This does not seem appropriate for a Jewish woman.”
“Oh, yes it is," Sharon said. “It’s one for the money, two for the show, three to make ready and four to go.”
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