Halloween Denial

These are the times that try the SJG's soul. Send hubby out to buy household stuff at Target, and he comes back with a bounty of temptation:
"I bought Halloween candy."
"Oh, no. No! Nooooooo! Why? Why would you do such a terrible thing?"
"It's Halloween."
"No, no, noooo, it's not Halloween yet."
"It's on Saturday."
"Saturday. That's like in forever. I'm in Halloween denial."
"Is that a thing?"
"It is for me."
"I'll hide the candy. You won't even know it's there."
"Hide it right now."
"I'm hiding it."
"Good."
"Right behind this tower of tupperware."
"Don't tell me where you're hiding it."
"Sorry. I'll move it behind the olive oil and the --"
"You're missing the point here. I don't know want to know where it is."
"Just don't open it and you'll be fine."
"You make it sound so easy."
"It is easy."
"Maybe for you. But for me, just knowing there's a mini-Reese's in the house is too much for me."
"Those are the best."
"I know."
"You want one?"
"Nooooooo!"
"Come on, you can handle one."
"Okay, maybe just one."