Is It Serious?

"So. You heard about the Schwartzbaums?"
"Irv and Goldie? No. What's going on with them?"
"I don't like to gossip, but they've been having... car trouble."
"Car trouble? Oh, no. Is it serious?"
"Very."
"What happened?"
"The Kia had a breakdown. On the 405."
"Poor Goldie. She loves that Kia like the grandchild she never had."
"Who wouldn't? It's cute, zippy and affordable."
"My Volvo stalled on the freeway once. I nearly plotzed. It's a miracle I'm still alive."
"The Kia did more than stall. The front tire blew, too."
"Veysmere. Is Goldie okay?"
"She's not okay. Her feelings are badly dented. On top of which, she wasn't the one driving the Kia at the time. Irv was. He took the Kia out for a spin after he dropped her off at Hello, Gorgeous to get highlights. He promised to get the Kia washed, but instead, he went off on a joy ride and things got ugly when he transitioned to the 101. He's lucky he didn't cause a pile-up. Plus, he forgot his cell phone and there were issues with the tow truck. Goldie was stuck at the salon, worried sick. She thought Irv was dead, which, under the circumstances, she might've forgiven. And now the Kia's in the shop and Irv's sleeping in the garage in his Ford Focus, which, just between us, gets terrible mileage."
"Still, it's not Irv's fault the Kia crapped out."
"Try convincing Goldie of that."
"They need to sit down with a reliable mechanic and work this out."
"I couldn't agree more. So, how are things with your Lexus?"
"Don't ask."