Ethel Mermaid by Suzanne Staud
Dear SJG,
I'm a professional mermaid. That's right. You heard me. A professional mermaid. Plus, I can belt out a tune like nobody's business. What? You didn't know you can make a comfortable living as a singing mermaid? Well, you can. Unless someone steals your tail. Without a tail, you're not much of a mermaid. You're just a gal in a very tight dress. Do you have any idea how much a tail costs? A good one will set you back $2,700. This morning, I woke up on the bottom of the sea, on account of not having a tail. It's a good thing I'm part-amphibian or I'd really be in trouble. I think Esther, the flapper one rock over, stole my tail. But I don't know how to prove it. Any ideas? I don't do well on dry land.
Thanks,
Ethel Mermaid
Esther W., Suspected Tail Thief
Dear Ethel,
Condolences on the missing appendage. The only way to prove Esther is guilty is to set up a Mermaid Cam and catch her with your tail between her legs.
You're welcome,
The SJG
Dishonest mermaids? All my childhood illusions shattered. Sniff.
ReplyDeleteSorry. It's my job to spoil illusions.
ReplyDelete