Clear Vision Guaranteed

At the end of the my two-hour visit with the nice doctor who's going to remove the no-so-nice SJG Cataracts (patent not pending) come October, I sat in a tiny office with a nice gal named Anna, aka The Gal Who Takes Your Money. She made so many appointments, pre and post surgery that my keppy continues to spin like a solar-powered dreidel.

"You'll feel no pain afterwards," she promised.
"Can I have that in writing?"
"Well..."
"Have you had cataract surgery?"
"No."
"Then how do you know I'll feel no pain?"
"Trust me, you won't."
"Ok. What about exercise?"
"You can exercise afterwards."
"Can I do yoga?"
"Yoga? Sure. Just don't do any of that... Down Wood Dog."
"Down Wood Dog?"
"You know... that stretchy thing."
"Downward Facing Dog?"
"That's the one."
"So no bending over."
"Right."
"For the rest of my life?"
"No, just... for a week or so."
"Is this the point where I ask you about the Botox?"
"Not necessarily."
"'Cuz there's a sign on the wall that says Ask Me About Botox."
"Are you interested in getting Botox?"
"No."
"Then why did you ask?"
"I do what I'm told."
"I'll make a note of that on your chart."