Bitch vs. Kvetch

In the midst of my detailed scholarly blog research -- what was that?  you think I make this stuff up off the top of my keppy? -- it suddenly occurred to me that Bitch has been stepping on the toes of the SJG's favorite word of all time, say it with me now, Kvetch.  Well.  Hang on there a minute, sister.  Since when are bitching and kvetching the same thing?  "They're exactly the same," the eldest tells me.  Hmph!  Let's turn to the Urban Dictionary for clarification, shall we?

"Bitch:  Word used to describe the act of whining excessively."  And here's how they define Kvetch:  "Piss and moan; whine; from the Yiddish; a person who habitually kvetches (usually used for females)." Hey now, I take offense at that definition.  I'm surrounded by expert kvetchers, and they're all male.  So, once again, I ask you:  Is Kvetch just the Yiddish way to say "complaining bitch"?  I'm thinking, nah-uh.  I'm thinking screw that, there's a big diff.  Bitch carries more than a tinge of nastiness.  Call someone a bitch, it's an insult, and, by the way, not just gender-specific.  My sons call their closest male friends "little bitches" daily.  

Kvetch, on the other hand, isn't about the mean, the nasty, the "rot in hell" of humanity, it's about the oy gevalt, the shared misery of Life.  It's about the aches and pains, the universal turmoil, the relative driving you crazy.  A kvetch-worthy situation is one that's so out of your control, your head spins like a dreidel.  Whatever it is, it's going to take time to figure out, could be costly, and most likely requires medical attention.  A bitch-worthy situation is easily dismissed.  "So what?  Who cares?  Next."  Bitching solves nothing.  But it's fun, I'll give you that.  Kvetching, on the other hand, is good for the soul and communal.  Bitching helps no one.  It's singular and edged with intolerance.   See what I mean?  Yes?  No?  What part of this aren't you getting?  It's obvious.  You know I'm right.  "Is it me, or did her ass just get bigger?"  Bitchy!  "Is it me, or is it hot in here?"  Kvetchy.  To repeat:  Bitch versus Kvetch.  Who wins?  Kvetch, every time.  What, you don't agree? Let's hear your side.