Introducing Zetz!

I've been ZETZED!

Energize your life with four times the internal power!  Introducing ZETZ 2.0 for on-the-go self-charging. Convenient for travelers and business people and anyone running low on caffeine!  ZETZ 2.0 will give you such a shock, you'll be super zippy in no time.  ZETZ recharges your inner battery and restores that special personal glow.  With ZETZ, you'll never need to catch extra Z's.  You'll be wide awake 24/7!  Perfect for everyone from low-key shleppers to high octane go-getters to Type AAA's.  You'll never kvetch about a lack of pep again!  Dead mental batteries and expensive cerebral spares are a thing of the past with ZETZ. All it takes is some minimally-invasive outpatient surgery to install your very own monagrammed power port.  So, what are you waiting for?  Our well-trained staff of ZETZERS can't wait to assist you.  We accept all major credit cards, but, just between us, prefer cash under the table.  Call 1-800-ZETZ-MEE.  Operators are standing by.  Hurry up, already!  Supplies are limited.