Thursday, December 27, 2012

Five Shopping Days Left

I picked this out myself
Only five more shopping days till January 1st, and I can't decide what sort of birthday gift to buy for 2013.   Something tells me the coming year is going to need a lot of stuff.  Maybe a nice sweater to keep 2013 cozy?  And a warm blankie, extra large.  Every new year likes to be swaddled and burped and rocked back and forth like a baby.  This gift is really starting to come together.  I need to throw a few more items in the basket, so I don't look cheap.  I'd hate to insult 2013 right out the gate.  So.  What else should I give 2013?  I'm thinking a lucky charm.  No.  A whole bracelet of lucky charms.  Every year could use some luck.  Oh, and some shower gel.  No gift is complete without shower gel.  A large vat of peach blossom body wash to keep 2013 feeling clean and refreshed.  I'll pick some up at Costco, along with industrial-strength ibuprofen.  Chances are, 2013 will start off with a massive 2012 hangover.  I don't want 2013 to feel bad on any level.  I'll put in a bottle of cough medicine, and some decongestant.  God forbid, 2013 should catch a cold.  One sneeze and we'd all get infected.  I might as well include some chicken soup.  A big pot of it, with extra matzoh balls.  It couldn't hurt.  A few self-help books, too:  "How To Keep 2013 From Turning to Sh*t."  "Time Management Tips for 2013."  "Happiness Project: 2013 Edition." Something's missing from this gift.  It's not quite there yet.  Wine!  A bottle of the finest Napa grape.  Oh, hell, make it a case.  2013's going to need to chill now and then.  Some chocolates, too.  Dark and rich, imported from Sherman Oaks.  I sure hope the new year likes my present.  What are you going to get 2013?  Better hurry.  Only five shopping days left.

2 comments:

  1. Not to burst your bubbly, but don't forget to put a little aside for the tax increase.

    ReplyDelete