Sunday, December 16, 2012

Hit Escape

I've spent the last few days in self-protection mode.  I can only take a little bit of the news, before retreating again.  I do what I've always done when the world turns to absolute crap.  I hit my internal escape button.  I watch movies.  Lots of movies.  I'm a Hollywood baby, after all.  From a young age, I learned that entertainment is the best escape.  And while I love going to the local cineplex, at this moment, I'd rather stay home and not catch the flu from strangers, or be annoyed by talkers and cellphone users.  Lucky me, I'm blessed with a bounty of screeners, culled from various top secret sources, until I name them and risk instant jail time.  Like anything that brings unbridled joy, these screeners come with conditions.  You're not supposed to share them with anyone.  The legalese pops up before you get started.  You're told to break them in half, stomp on them, pulverize them the minute you're done.  Do not lend them out, bitches!  Do not go there!  Or what?  For starters, you'll be severely punished, fined, spanked and ridiculed.  I have it on good authority that few abide by this rule.  Still, we keep this contraband in the family, so we can dole out our own punishment should one of the sons forget to bring back "Zero Dark Thirty." The results are nasty.  Such negligence sends them back to repeat Hebrew school, and their Bar Mitzvahs, and guess who pays for the party this time?  Not us.  Them.

So, by now you're wondering, what has the SJG been watching?  Well.  Aren't you kind to ask.  I've always liked you.  On Friday, "Lincoln."  How was it?  Very long.  A certain guest fell asleep within minutes, but I fault the sofa.  When you plop your butt down, your eyelids automatically droop.  It's just too comfy for words.  A certain youngest son retreated in a huff to his room, calling, "This is boring."  The SJG hung in there, stoically. I thought it was slow, even sluggish at times, but then, an hour or so into it, you're hooked and it's really pretty great.  Daniel Day Lewis?  Sally Field?  Transplendent!  Tommy Lee Jones?  Even in that horrible wig, he's fab.  On Saturday, a double bill:  "Silver Linings Playbook."  This is best picture time.  This is best actor time.  This is the best movie I've seen this year.  Me likey.  A must-see.  Trust me, I'd never steer you wrong, at least not intentionally.  Next movie:  "Quartet."  Quite lovely.  Quite British.  Directed by a short Jewish non-Brit named Dustin.  Old musicians and opera singers living together, in various states of mental and physical deterioration, trying to put on a show to save the sprawling mansion they call home.  And Maggie Smith is in it.  What else do you need to know?  See it if you're in the mood for quaint and witty and charming old people falling back in love. 

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