It's Not Nice To Fool Mother Nature

And vice versa.

Dear SJG,
Yesterday morning something very strong woke me up right in the middle of a nice dream.  Everything shook rudely, including me.  It felt like my heart was getting a jump start from Mother Nature.  Who invited her into my boudoir?  Doesn't she know to knock first?
Thanks,
Still Rattled in Sherman Oaks

Dear Rattled,
Mother Nature isn't a big fan of Emily Post or Miss Manners.  Mother Nature doesn't care about etiquette.  Mother Nature barges in unannounced.  Mother Nature doesn't care if she hurts your petal-like feelings. Mother Nature doesn't send out clever tweets that preview her next big move.  Mother Nature doesn't do selfies.  Mother Nature just does whatever the eff she wants and leaves us to clean up the mess. Mother Nature has a twisted sense of humor. You just never know what sort of fun stunt she's going to pull next. I recommend Quake Hold as a back-up plan.  I'm telling you, that sh*t works. Your confidence may crack, but your priceless tchotckes won't budge.  I know what I'm talking about.  Every item in my palatial estate is glued down permanently. If they ever develop Human Quake Hold, I'm buying an ark-load.
You're welcome,
The SJG

Hubby-endorsed