Say Cheese

(Sherman Oaks) Kvell-time.  Someone has won the title of 2014 World Champion Cheese Maven, and you'll never guess who.  Well, maybe you will.  Rumor has it you're smarter than you look.  Here's a hint.  It's none other than the Short Jewish Gal, claiming yet another trophy to mention briefly in passing so she shouldn't appear too braggy and ain't-I-somethin'-else.  The humble blogger/dog walker/market shlepper weighed in on the international contest she showed up to judge, uninvited.  "Give me a Schweizer Rohmilch Emmentaler and I lose my mind," she said, between bites of the big wheel Swiss cheese. "To be honest,  the Schweizer Rohmilch Emmentaler is better than the Erzherzog Johann, and don't even get me started on the Gruyere Glick Hot Dich Getrofen.  Personally, I'm disappointed no one entered a nice tub of Hoop Cheese, which puts the cheese in cheesecake.  Maybe next year.  Till then, I'll keep eating cheese, despite all the warnings from my doctor to keep the dairy to a minimum.  Just 'cause he went to medical school doesn't mean he's a maven on everything.  Look at me. I'm the maven now."