Saturday, October 25, 2014

Ten Ways To Feel Older

1. Click "senior discount" when purchasing two movie tickets online.
2. Announce to hubby, "I bought us senior tickets."
3. Ignore his shaming logic when he says, "That's terrible. We're not seniors. We've got a few years left."
4. Then say, "I know, but wouldn't it be fun if they stop and ask us for I.D. to prove we're seniors?"
5. Pretend you don't hear him when he says, "What's fun about that?"
6. Go to 11 a.m. showing of "Gone Girl" on a Friday morning.
7. Announce to hubby, "Isn't this great? There's no way I'm going to fall asleep during the movie."
8. Bring a snack in case you get hungry.
9. Yell this at the elderly woman still on her cell phone when the trailers start: "I say, you there, in the front row! Didn't your mother teach you manners? It's very rude to talk before, during and after the feature presentation. Be a dear and take it outside."
10. Make sure you remind hubby to wake you up "during the naughty bits."

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