All That Really Matters

(Sherman Oaks) News crews descended on the home of the Short Jewish Gal to record the historic moment immediately apres her first hot shower in days. "Dear God in heaven. You people have no idea how I've suffered," she said, wrapped in a towel. "I've taken nothing but insultingly cold baths. It's been absolute hell. I don't know how I survived. To have one working bathroom, it's a miracle. Of course, there are 18 holes in the wall. It was a little drafty in there. I hope I don't get the sniffles. I need a sinus situation like a kick in the keppy. Now if they can get the rest of the bathrooms working, it'll be a real mitzvah." "Mazel tov," yelled a reporter. "With all the serious problems in the world, it's nice to know that you're squeaky clean." "Which is really all that matters," she said, and went back inside to dry off.