Did I Mention I'm In London?

I say, look who I ran into, bench-side. None other than FDR and Winston Churchill. I hope they didn't mind me barging into their conversation. 

One of several forbidden shots I snapped at "Audrey Hepburn: Portraits of an Icon," just before a National Portrait Gallery guard scolded me and threatened to boot me out of the U.K., knickers-first. 

Oh, look, oopsie-daisies, here's another illegally-taken photo that could get me beheaded. The Three Faces of Audrey Hepburn. I'm such a rebel. 

At Hatchard's (booksellers since 1797) I found this great Nora Ephron quote: "When I buy a new book, I always read the last part first, that way in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side." I do the same thing every time I read a magazine. 

At Fortum and Mason, a British institution of overpriced noshables, I got extremely befuddled and had to be sedated with a bon bon, due to my utter confusion over what floor I happened to be on. "Pardon me," I said, Britishly. "Where might the loo be, m'lady?" "It's on the first floor," said the employee I interrupted mid-transaction. "So it's on this floor?" "No, this is the ground floor." "Oh. So, where's the first floor?" "It's one floor up." "Oh." This exchange continued for several minutes more, and did nothing to improve the way Brits view Americans, I'm afraid. And I lived here once. I should remember this stuff. But then, I'm so jet-lagged, I couldn't tell matzoh from McVittie's.