Thursday, March 10, 2016

Plenty Gifted

The first time the SJG heard the expression "gifted," the eldest was in kindergarten. The "gifted" buzz was suddenly a thing. Is your child gifted? Has your child been tested? Is your child highly gifted, moderately gifted, semi-gifted, or, God forbid, NOT gifted? Oy vey. Such a shanda to be un-gifted.  Everything was about gifted this, gifted that. Seemingly overnight, "gifted" meant something big.  You wanted your kid to be academically gifted. Your kid, on the other hand, didn't give a bleep about being gifted. Unless it meant toys and Game Boys and other fun stuff coming his way. That was the only gifted he cared about.

Where did this gifted business come from, anyway? I can't tell you. I'd probably have to go back to school to find out. I don't want to go back to school. In school, I was never gifted. In school, I spent time in remedial math just for getting a "C." So, don't talk to me about gifted. Once, I landed by accident in an advanced class. Someone in the front office messed up, and there I was in Advanced Sitting, surrounded by smarties. I did my best to sit in an advanced way. Advanced was a big thing, back then. In college, the SJG took Advanced Kvetching. I excelled. I took Advanced Worrying. I aced it. I took Advanced Denial. Yeah, I failed that one. These days, I'm into a different type of advanced. Advanced Bone-Creaking. Advanced Nasal Difficulties. Advanced Where-Did-I-Put-My-Phone. When it comes to advanced, at this stage of the game, I'm plenty gifted.

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