Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Splitsville Supremo

"Ma, guess who broke up?"
"I don't want to know. I'm trying to stay positive."
"Angie and Brad."
"Brangelina? No eff'n way! Says who?"
"People Magazine."
"Oh, dear God in heaven. If People says so, it must be true."
"You sound upset, Ma."
"Upset? No. More like shocked. I didn't expect this. I needed some warning. A head's up.  I may need a tranquilizer to calm down. We're talking Brangelina! It's sad. I could weep, but who has the energy? Plus, they've got 18 kids."
"They don't have 18 kids."
"How many kids have they got?"
"I don't know, Ma."
"Who do you think did the dumping?"
"He did."
"Oh, honey. Honey, have I taught you nothing? She did the dumping. Definitely."
"How do you know?"
"A mother knows things. Like, right now,  Jennifer Aniston is going, 'Really? REALLY?' "
"Ma, I gotta go."
"What? We're not done talking about this, young man."
"I'm done."
"I'm not. I'm just warming up."

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