Friday, February 17, 2017

The Miracle of Water

Morris goes to see Rabbi Levy. "How can I help you, Morris?" asks the Rabbi.
"I'm worried about my Hannah's temper, Rabbi," replies Morris. "Quite regularly now, she suddenly loses her temper for no reason at all and it really scares me. I just don't know what to do about it."
Rabbi Levy contemplates for a while, then says, "OK Morris, I think I have the solution. Here's what you must do. When Hannah starts to get angry, immediately take a glass of water and start swishing the water around the inside of your mouth. But don't swallow the water -- just swish it around and around your mouth until Hannah calms down."
"OK Rabbi," says Morris, "I don't know why that should work, but I'll give it a try."
Ten days later, looking fresh and relaxed, Morris goes back to see Rabbi Levy. "Rabbi," he says, "that was a brilliant solution of yours. Every time my Hannah started to lose her temper, I did what you said. I swished my mouth with water. I swished and I swished, and while I was swishing, my Hannah calmed right down in front of my eyes. It was a miracle, Rabbi, a true miracle. But why should a glass of water do that?"
"The water itself does nothing, Morris." replies Rabbi Levy. "It's keeping your mouth shut that makes it work."

Naomi is shopping in Bloomies, looking for a new dress. She sees something she likes and calls over a salesman. "See that pale blue and grey wool designer dress on that dummy over there?" she says. 
"Yes, I see it," he replies
"Well, how much is it?" Naomi asks
"Ma'am, that dress over there is $1,200," he replies
"Oy vey," says Naomi, "I could get the same dress at Minky’s Shmatters for only $120.
"But ma'am, " says the salesman, "our dress is 100% pure virgin wool, whereas I’m sure you’ll discover that the dress at Minky’s is made from recycled wool.
"So," replies Naomi, "for $1,000 extra, I should be caring what the lambs do at night?"

"If I live, I'll see you Monday, if not, Tuesday."

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