Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Why The Hat?

Schwartz is sitting in his room, wearing only a top hat, when Steinberg strolls in. “Why are you sitting here naked?” “It’s all right,” says Schwartz. “Nobody comes to visit.” “But why the hat?” “Maybe somebody will come.”
Bernstein, an elderly man, is resting peacefully on the porch of his small hotel outside Boca when he sees a cloud of dust up the road. He walks out to see who could be approaching. It's a southern farmer with a wagon. “Good afternoon,” Bernstein says. “Afternoon,” says the farmer. “Where you headed?” Bernstein asks. “Town.” “What do you have in the wagon?” “Manure.” “Manure, eh? What do you do with it?” "I spread it over the fruit.” “Well,” says Bernstein, “you should come over here for lunch someday. We use sour cream."
At the funeral of the richest man in town, a stranger sees a woman crying very loudly.  The stranger asks, “Are you a relative of the deceased?” “No.” “Then why are you crying?” “That’s why!”
Katz walks into work one day at nine. He's very late. The boss is furious. “You should have been here at eight-thirty!” he shouts. “Why?” Katz asks.  “What happened at eight-thirty?”

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