Tuesday, December 19, 2017

What I Did & Didn't Do

At the end of every year, I like to review the goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year just to see how many I actually accomplished. Let's take a look at 2017, shall we?

1. Revive SJG Chakra Cleansing Service.
This I almost did. Then I ran into a few permit issues down at the Department of Holistic Healing in Torrance.
2. Develop cure for bad selfies.
This I did. How? I'll tell you how. I didn't snap a single selfie all year.
3. Teach Sir Blakey how to bow.
This I didn't do. But I did teach him to do a triple back flip.
4. Polka more.
This I did. I polka'd so much, I've decided never to polka again.
5. Take "SJG: Kvetch! Kvetch! Kvetch!" on the road.
This I did. Every time I got in my car, all I did was kvetch, kvetch, kvetch.
6. Embrace random acts of stupidity.
This I didn't do. Not even close. Mainly, I screamed and yelled.
7. Sigh like everybody's listening.
This I did. My personal sighing highpoint: In June, I cleared out a movie theater.
8. Find out who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomb.
This I didn't do. There's always 2018.
9.  End Twitter War with Tweety Bird.
This I did. But it was short-lived. We reconciled briefly until he kugel-shamed me on Instagram.
10. Open SJG SchlepWear Outlet in Reseda.
This I did. We sold out in a day. Then we got shut down for Fashion Violations.

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