A Visit To The Dispensary

Salvador Dali is watching you

Recently, as in a week ago today, that's how recently I mean, a friend who shall remain nameless, a dear, wonderful friend who hails from... elsewhere, a real friend, not an imaginary friend people refer to when they're "asking for a friend," asked me to take her to a place I've never been before, man. The kind of place your humble SJG drives by daily, because they're practically on every corner, and go by many clever names: The Secret Stash, Green Cross, Nirvana Clinic, Kush Mart. My friend required something vape-worthy, an instrument of calm and relaxation she can't procure in her unnamed state. And who better to schlep her to the Gelson's of Ganja, the place voted "Best Dispensary in L.A.", than moi? Only the best medically beneficial CBD for my out-of-state gal.

As we entered this most mellow zone, I immediately got the giggles. It wasn't what I expected, what with the security guard, the velvet sofa, the hipster music. On second thought, it was exactly what I expected, except for the security guard. I stared at my surroundings like a goofy, wide-eyed visitor from Tralfamadore. "Be cool," my friend whispered. "Don't harsh anyone's buzz." Okay, she didn't say that. Not out loud. But she was probably thinking it. I mean, when it comes to cool, I'm pretty much the opposite. Sure, I indulged in the substance as a youngster way-way-way back when, but after the Infamous Bourbon Ball Incident of 1980-ish, when newly-minted hubby had to pry me off the ceiling, I haven't gone near the stuff. Okay, maybe a few more times. But that was decades ago. So I sat down on the blue velvet, highly amused and feigning coolness. As I watched my unnamed friend in action, I gotta say, I was impressed. Clearly, this wasn't her first rodeo in Hemp Town. So smooth. So chill. And for this, she was rewarded. Lucky gal bellied up to the Mary J bar at just the right time. It was Customer Appreciation Day. She got what she came for, and then some. A mug and a water bottle emblazoned with Higher Path. A free "cookie." A free bag of gummies. I've never seen her so transformed, and I've known her a very long time. So I was happy she was happy. And at the end of the day, isn't that what friendship's all about?