Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Sing the Words, Bro

When it comes to Sinatra, you gotsta swing, or it don't mean a thing, and last night, the top five went Idoling along, with or without the necessary swagger n' groove.  Two stood out, one exposed a supersized sunflower tat, one lacked the requisite coolness, and one, oh man, did one ever sport the most hideous freakin' ponytail the SJG has ever seen. 

In the house:  Harry Connick Jr., doing some mighty fine orchestrating and ivory tinkling.  He guided the five with heart, soul and goofy humor.  In other words, he was the menschiest of mentors.  Also in the house, Nancy "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'" and sista Tina, there to give Simon a monogrammed Frankie hanky.  Aw!  Rob Reiner and Sir Anthony Hopkins were in the house, too.  And what about the SJG?  In a different house, over in the S.O., finger-snappin' and swayin' with her bad self.  Come on, now, let's break in down, why don't we?

1.  Aaron, "Fly Me to the Moon":  Lovely, sweet, swingless.  Randy said, "Wow, wow, dude, you did a really good job."  Yes he did, for a highly-likeable high school student.  Ellen, in good form, found the piano pitchy, the vocals beautiful.  Kara told Aaron to order up some more charisma, stat!  Is there a website for that?  Simon felt he lacked the cool, the conviction of Sinatra. 
2. Casey, "Blue Skies":  It pains me, but the Hotness lost his sizzle.  He blew it, not just with the hellacious 'do, but with his lackluster, soul-free perf.  Hair down, hat tilted on the side, might've been a different outcome. After scathing critiques from the judges, Harry said Casey was better in rehearsal.  What happened?  The Hotness was so good last week, so bad this week, I took it personally.  Randy called it, "your worst performance, dude.  It didn't work, baby."  Ellen called it stiff.  Kara pointed out his lamb-like vibrato.  Simon said, "You weren't fantastic.  You seemed embarrassed."
3.  Crystal, "Summer Wind":  The song meant something to her, but what, she wouldn't say.  In a strapless black gown, she showed off her hourglass figure and a sprawling sunflower on her back.  The song was lovely and understated, but not the 'ol blue eyes wowser the judges wanted.  Randy found it subdued and sleepy.  Ellen wanted her to loosen up.  Kara liked her phrasing but didn't gush.  Simon felt it was indulgent, too "small night club," and told her she's got to step it up "if you survive."  I do believe he's just f'n with her.  He wouldn't dare use the SJG Reverse Kina Hora Maneuver (patent pending).  And yet, Crystal got a little cocky 'splainin' herself.  Watch it, girl.  Too much 'tude. Save it for the recording studio. 
4. Big Mike, "The Way You Look Tonight":  Harry said, "Think about your girl, bro," and Big Mike sang it to his gal with the glittery eyes, and did great.  Hands down, a winner.  All four judges went crazy with the praise.  Will Big Mike's lack of humility get in the way?  We shall see. 
5.  Lee, "That's Life": The best of the night.  The best he's been.  Lee continues to amaze.  Last night, he nailed it, with a smooth, confident performance.  Hipness personified.   "You stayed your rocker self.  I loved it," said Randy.  Ellen was "distracted by Harry's organ."  (Now, that's funny!)  She loved Lee, too.  Kara gave him a homework assignment, to go home and write "you can win this" over and over.  (Lame!)  Simon said it brought out Lee's personality.  Bottom two prediction:  Casey and Aaron.  Going home:  the Hotness.


  1. Agree with everything, SJG, but your take on Crystal's 'splaining. I completely agree that "it doesn't have to be big (or however she put it) just because it's American Idol." I think the judges were taken aback by that. There's beauty in small, beautiful performances like that. I LURVED it!! xo

  2. It was lurverly, and I don't agree with the judges that everything has to be big; I'm just worried her 'tude could be a turn-off to voters. The ones who win it all generally take the judges' advice, good or bad, with a nod and a smile and little commentary. I'm just sayin'!