Thursday, August 4, 2016

A New Olympic Event

Synchronized Worry Circle
(Sherman Oaks) In honor of the Olympics, famed blogger/kugel maker the SJG, will host a special competitive event in her sprawling estate, beginning at 2 a.m. Friday morning, and lasting at least till Saturday afternoon, maybe longer:  "It's called Synchronized Worrying," the SJG told Sports Illustrated.  "It's a complicated hybrid of hand-wringing and fretting, while performing elaborate choreographed pacing in the kitchen and front hallway, accompanied by Klezmer music. Synchronized Worrying demands advanced over-thinking, gastrointestinal fortitude, endurance, crisis management, flexibility, artistic traipsing and precise timing, as well as exceptional sighing and breath control while bent over, cleaning spots on the floor.  It's taken me years to perfect this sport. I've basically been in training since birth. I can't wait to compete with myself.  If anyone deserves a Gold Medal for Worry, it's me."


  1. I'm giving you the Gold Silver and Bronze - I believe what put you over the top was the attention to detail and how the music truly added to the sentiments being expressed. So what's next? Now that you have this down you might as well focus on something new - eh?

    1. I'm planning to light the torch at the opening ceremonies from the safety of my home, telepathically. xo

  2. Run as Bernie's VP in 2020 - we'll need a clear sighted worrier whether Hillary or Donald win in November. And you have better domestic policy issue creds than previous VPs.

  3. Thank you. I'll certainly mull it over, obsessively.