Friday, July 13, 2012

SJG University Now Accepting Applications

Welcome to the SJG University of Fun and Enlightenment, an institution of higher learning where the possibilities are endless. It’s no surprise that SJGU is consistently named a Best Buy school by Forbes and Princeton Review,who recognize our intellectually rigorous academic program, affordable tuition, numerous financial aid and scholarship opportunities. Here's a sample of the exciting curriculum:

*  The Art of Laundry:  The untold story of how clothes get clean.  From river rock to rapid cycle.  Final involves doing your own laundry for a change.
*  The History of Kvetching:  Since the beginning of time, people have had plenty to complain about, starting with their feet.  This course will review the best kvetchers who ever roamed the earth, from Moses ("O Lord!  You have done nothing to help Your people!") to Mama Rose ("Give 'em love and what does it get ya? What does it get ya? One quick look as each of 'em leaves you. All your life and what does it get ya?")  That's hard to top, but you'll learn how to make your complaints count, which, trust us, is worth the price of admission to SJGU.
*  The Mystery of Kugel:  How to work magic with noodles and make your mother weep with joy.
*  Volume Control:  Learn to watch television and listen to music without busting an eardrum and/or driving your mother insane.
*  Driveway Parking Skills:  We understand.  It's hard to park on the driveway and leave enough room for others to exit the garage without bashing a bumper on the way out.  This course will remind you why you managed to get a license in the first place.
*  Bed-Making:  What, no one ever taught you how to make a bed?  Here's your chance to learn. 
*  The Secret World of the Dishwasher:  What is that boxy white thing sticking out of the wall?  Are you brave enough to open it?  This course will give you the courage to face your fears and put those 950 glasses you've been storing under your unmade bed where they belong.

But hey, don’t just take the SJG's word for it. Take a tour of our fancy campus in Sherman Oaks, walking distance to the Galleria.  It's freeway close.  Literally.  The freeway is down the street for a quick escape.  Join our Facebook group for prospective students.  Stay connected.  You need someone to nag you throughout the application process?  The SJG is on call, 24/7.  It's not as if she ever sleeps, anyway.

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