The Bird Lady of Sherman Oaks

Apparently, I'll do anything for a laugh.  Yo ho ho!

"Any volunteers?" Long John Pirate-for-Hire asks.
"Carol will do it," Kelly says.  Kelly and Jen are hosting daughter Kate's birthday party.  Kate is three years old, but then, who isn't?

And so, the SJG surrenders what's left of my dignity (not much).  I tell Long John, go ahead, bucko.  I'll be a human sacrifice.  I'm not afraid. Well, maybe just a little.  Long John deposits not one, not two, but three deadly, extra large parrots on my arms and head.  The macaws cackle. The SJG cackles.  There's a lot of cackling.  I expect the big birdies to use their beaks for evil, to bite off a portion of my cerebellum, or nibble the tips of my elbows.  I anticipate a quick trip to the Emergency Room. I wonder how I'll look with an eye patch.  Relax, mateys.  I survive in tact.  I'm not the snack food of choice.  Molly, Mango and Raggedy Ann are well-trained tricksters, and not all that deadly.  Lucky me.

Aargh!  Don't poop on me head, Mango.