How To Keep Your Cool This Summer

Summer.  Such a hot time.  A time of flared tempers:
"What part of turn down the A/C aren't you getting?"
"I'm turning it up.  My lips are blue."
"Turn it down."
"I'm not in the market for pneumonia."
"Put on a sweater."
"Go stick your head in the freezer."

"I told you not to eff with the thermostat."

A time of heated exchanges with yourself:
"I can't wear these shorts!  What was I thinking?"
"You were thinking they still fit."
"Do these flip-flops make my feet look fat?"
"I can't decide."
"Your bikini days are over, hon."
"You're not the boss of me."
"Yes, I am."
"Go stick your head in the freezer."

The icy stare

Who needs the aggravation?  Not you.  A few tips to get you through the summer, courtesy of the SJG:
1. Do some deep blaming.  Breath in, blame.  Breath out, blame.  As you blame, you will shed all responsibility.
2.  Practice your icy stare.  Rather than react, offer a frozen look of hostility.   No one will bother you for at least an hour.
3.  In the freezer, no one can hear you yell.  Stick your head in and give a good scream.

I know, I know.  You feel better already.  You're welcome.  I'm here to help.