The Nobel Prize For Undergarments

Dear Nobel Prize Committee,
Hi, how are you? Hope you're in good health. If not, I hear Vitamin C stops a cold in its tracks. My whole life, I've heard this. I've yet to stop a cold with Vitamin C. Personally, chicken soup works better. Maybe that's just for my people. Anywho, I heard you guys were taking suggestions from the public. Relax, I'm not nominating myself, although I strongly believe I deserve an award for something, but what? There are so many categories that would suit me. Nobel Prize For Laundry? I accept! Nobel Prize For Kvetching? I'm honored. Nobel Prize For Grocery Shopping? This is my cart, bitches!

Believe it or not, this letter isn't about the SJG, despite my international status as Silliest Blogger Ever. On second thought, it is a little about me, but then, isn't everything? The other night, I went to my 40th High School Reunion. It was lovely, thanks for asking. The thing that gave me that extra jolt of courage and helped me approach just about anybody in attendance, whether they knew me or not, and most of time, sadly, didn't know me from bupkis, was a certain amazing, biblically miraculous undergarment. That's right, Nobel people, I'm talking about Spanx, the most genius invention of all time.

I'm telling you, if every world leader could just wear a nice pair of Spanx (not one of those knockoff brands, but the real deal) to the next big confab, doesn't matter the gender of the personage, they would feel so much better about themselves, they would sign any peace agreement you put in front of them. A nice pair of Spanx makes everything brighter. What could be better than looking five pounds thinner without starving yourself? Nothing comes to mind. Therefore, I nominate Sara Blakely for the Nobel Prize For Undergarments.

Whether this category exists is besides the point. I urge you to stop everything and make this happen. And make sure to give me credit. Without credit, I'm just another under-employed TV writer trying to look svelte for Passover.

Thanks!
Big hugs,
The Short Jewish Gal of Sherman Oaks