Saturday, January 14, 2017

Mentally Yours

Dear SJG,
It has come to our attention that in two days, despite your tendency to bump into things, drop things, and kvetch about assorted bupkis, you've made it another year. Mazel tov. Your friends at Mentally Yours would like to celebrate this important occasion by offering you 18% off your next mental cleaning. We're eager to polish off the rough edges of your psyche, scrape the tarter off your frontal lobe, and restore the luster to your tarnished keppy. Let us floss between the crevices of your personal mishegas and help delay your inevitable descent into "Has anyone seen my glasses? Oh, @#$%, I'm wearing them." One of our skilled mental technicians will be calling you shortly to arrange an appointment. Please don't hang up on us again. Your parents raised you better than that. Forget calling. How's Monday at 7 a.m. sound? If we don't hear from you, will assume you're coming. Cancellations will be ignored. Don't disappoint us. Haven't you disappointed enough people already?
See you Monday!
The nice people at Mentally Yours

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