Monday, January 9, 2017

Sometimes You Just Need A Little Push

"Ma, I'm 29. How the @#$% did that happen?"
"Well, honey, I'm so glad you finally asked. I've been waiting 29 years to explain it, and now it's my pleasure, my honor, to tell you how you arrived on Earth, as opposed to Mars. Are you ready?"
"I think so. Is it scary?"
"Little bit. But you're a big boy, you can handle it."
"Okay, tell me, Ma."
"I pushed and pushed and pushed and screamed and yelled and swore at the top of my lungs, and oh, at one point, I laughed hysterically like a complete lunatic, on account of the drugs, and then they ran in and gave me oxygen, and the nurses exchanged looks, like uh oh, we got a wacko, and then, many, many, did I mention many, hours later, out you came with a pointy head, just an adorable bundle of absolute joy."

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