Celebrity Paint Consultant

Dr. Drew:  Good with color

The SJG must take a mo' to thank my bleeps (blog-reading peeps) for their wonderfully heartfelt paint color suggestions, including Mauve, Denim and Lilac.  (Yeah, that's not happening.)  The adamant warnings to stay away from anything resembling Baby Sh*t?  Duly noted!  Before Dr. Drew showed up for a little one-on-one celebrity rehab, I went looking for a fix at Dunn Edwards, just a few samples, man, just a hit to get me through the day.  It's all Paintner #2's fault.  The buttoned-up dude (he wore a buttoned up painter jacket thing), pointed me in a new and baffling direction that would send my neighbor Mike back to Canada if we dared to walk this way on the color chart.  Paintner #2 said go toward the taupe, the gray, the darker shades for contrast and drama.  This weekend, the college boy goes to Coachella.  And plans to camp!  That's enough drama, thanks.  Last night, the eldest stopped by for dinner, took one look at the patchwork quilt on the side of the house, and said, "These colors are hideous. Why would you want to destroy the look of the house?" This from the boy who thinks we should paint the house in hues of Jack Daniels. Everybody's an expert.  Dr. Drew suggested we stay with "your warm Mediterranean earth tones.  I like a little paint lab on Van Nuys: Catalina. They sell Benjamin Moore.  Ask for Rico. Tell him Double D sent you.  He'll set you up."