The Paintners

Baked Potato or Stonish Beige.  Colorado Trail or Graham Cracker.  Butte Rock or Yosemite Sand.  My head is spinning.  If the SJG were a paint color, what would I be?  Neurotically Inclined.  Gifted Worrier. Impatiently Yours.  I'm obsessed with paint colors.  Why?  The paintners are coming!  The paintners are coming!  When?  You'll be the first to know.  We haven't hired anybody yet. Yesterday, a paintner came, a nice Israeli.  But these paintners always seem nice, don't they, until they start the job.  They get weirder and weirder as the fumes take hold.  Who hasn't had issues with paintners?  Screamed a lot?  Threatened to call the Better Business Bureau?  Color me Already Aggravated.  The seemingly nice one, the Israeli, walked around the exterior, making notes and nodding like a doctor on hospital rounds.  He had a studied look of concern as he listened for a pulse, examined the cracks, assessed the general well-being of our humble abode.  We're awaiting his surgical estimate.  I just know it's going to be high.  We're taking bets, rounding it off to the nearest million.  Recovery time:  two weeks, maybe less.  It all depends on what, he wouldn't say.  The next paintner was a no-show.  The appointment time came and went.  By 3:00 we said eff it and went back to the paint store for more crazy-making samples.  Baked Potato or Stonish Beige?  I'm leaning toward Deeply Cranky with a chaser of Java Jew.