I Blame Gwen

The nation of Idolers is up in arms over Thursday night's dumping of Pia, the lovely and talented gal who "sings like a bird" in the words of Mr. Steven Tyler.  Tom Hanks is threatening to stop watching.  Oy vey.  Not Tom Hanks!  That's bad, people.  We need the dudes, famous and non, to vote, otherwise, teenage girls will continue to call the shots, Idol-wise.  And they're voting for the boys.  Year after year, it's about the boys.  I can't even remember last year's winning boychick.  That's I lie, of course I can.  The SJG remembers all.  (Lee Something.)  Mainly, I blame Gwen Stefani for this shanda.  That's right, you heard me.  Gwen Stefani.  I have no doubt she meant well, (see what I did there?), but seriously, what was she thinking, telling Pia she looked great in that one-piece thigh-enhancer?  Pia deserved slinky. She deserved glam.  What she got was an outfit that was just plain fugly, a "look" few gals in the universe could pull off, other than Gwen Stefani.  That said, Pia will be fine.  She's already getting calls.  Word on the street is SJG Records wants to sign her.  It's all good.