Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Frost Bites

I made it out alive!
The SJG has just returned from the frozen tundra of my fridge.  I donned my down parka, my goggles, my thermal underwear, my gloves left over from my last arctic expedition.  I set up camp at the base of the freezer and dug into the icy wasteland.  Within seconds, my face turned numb with shame, as I unearthed the following:  Macaroons from Passover. Which Passover?  2005?  2006?  Your guess is as good as mine.  Lime popsicles from our brief, "we're eating healthy" phase, circa 2002.  Stuffed salmon from Trader Joes?  Date of purchase:  unknown.  I have no memory of buying stuffed salmon from Trader Joes.  Weapon-like bricks of frozen peas. Spanakopita triangles from our "let's entertain the neighbors" phase.  Then the party boys moved in.  Which explains the Vodka on the bottom tray.  Each shelf left me more mortified than the last.  I couldn't take it any more.  I'd lost all sensation in my fingertips. I told Dusty, captain of my Iditarod team, to take over, and handed him my ice pick. He took off in his sled and hasn't been seen since.


  1. ROFLMAO. This spoke to me. I too recently went on an exploratory mission to scout out eatable food sources in my freezer. My prospects were few and far between. I had things in that frozen wasteland from the turn of the century.

  2. Taryterre, we are brave women, we must stick together!

  3. Batteries in zip loc bags, sorted by sizes... filling the two bottom bins. Goes with being the holiday house and all those seasonal motionettes and singing, dancing, decorations that you listen to once, remove the batteries and pack up for next year... when you have to re-install the batteries... and so on for the last fifteen years. Oh, and that salmon frozen and transported in the camper truck direct from the Quinault, Washington indian reservation on the Olympic Penninsula in aluminum foil, what, five years ago?