Thursday, November 17, 2011

Bah, Oy Vey

Usually, it happens around Thanksgiving.  This year it's happening a week early.  Usually, it's KOST-FM, my destination for  "soft rock."  This year, it's KOST-FM and the WAVE, my destination for "smooth jazz."  Both radio stations that I listen to, in my fast-approaching, old fart-hood, for comfort and joy, are playing holiday music already, and I'm not talking "I Had A Little Dreidel."  I'm talking "Deck the Halls."  And it's not just the radio stations, it's the markets and the department stores, bombarding me with their Christmas-centric decorations and good cheer.  What I wouldn't give to walk into Bloomies and see a bowl of glittering Hanukkah gelt on display.  What I wouldn't give to walk into Macy's and see a platter of nice crisp latkes and a sign that says, "One per Jew."  But it'll never happen, not even in Sherman Oaks, where Jews roam freely. Not that I have anything against Christmas.  It's a lovely holiday.  In December.  The end of December.  Right near Hanukkah.  But Hanukkah gets no love on the radio, with the exception of that Adam Sandler song, or in the stores, with the exception of Gelson's, where I have yet to hear "Hark ye merry gentleman" over the loud speakers.  Gelson's may be Jewish in spirit, but it remains wisely non-denominational.  My main kosher beef with this early start on the holidays is I can't get the holiday music out of my head.  I walk around singing "Deck the Halls" and "Do You Hear What I Hear" and the answer to that is, yes, I do hear what you hear, and could you please make it stop?  I'm already walking around singing "Silent Night."  It's too early for that.  It's just wrong.  It's against the SJG code of ethics.  Not to mention which, I'll get kicked out of the All-Hanukkah Girl Choir of Sherman Oaks, if anyone hears me singing "O Holy Night," and we can't have that happen, can we?


  1. I was in Bed Bath & Beyond in West Los Angeles yesterday & they have a huge display of Hanukah stuff to buy ... it's directly in front of the Christmas section (which is of course 5 times the size). Deck this hall. Oye.

  2. It's no better for a goy like me. Use your iPhone headset for music while out shopping. It's your only line of defense in public.