A Moment To Rant

Beauty sleep is so important to the SJG.  If I don't get my mandatory allotment of snooze time, I turn grumpy and mean.  This morning, I am both.  I blame Jay Leno.  I am so angry at Jay Leno, so heated.  Last night, I stayed up to watch Jay Leno.  I never watch Jay Leno.  I don't find him funny on any level.  Watching Jay Leno is painful.  But, I forced myself to stay up and make this sacrifice.  I said, fine, I'll watch his dumb, unfunny show (even though we'd recorded it) because I was too excited to sleep.  How could a mother like me sleep, knowing her eldest son was going to be included in one of Jay Leno's lame-ass, unfunny prerecorded bits?  About a month ago, he'd been "pranked" at a convenience store, when he attempted to buy Doritos laced with a live scorpion. Last night was the night for hilarity to ensue.  Last night, hilarity ensued (not really, it was lame) without him.  Those bastards cut him out.  My reaction may surprise you, for it's so out of character.  It went something like this:  "WTF!  WTF!  How @#$%'n dare they!  Who the @#$% do they think they are!  I @#$%'n hate Jay Leno!!!!"  My rant played on a continuous loop for the next 15 minutes, until hubby politely asked me to turn the volume down on my rage, so he could get some sleep.  "How can you sleep at a time like this?"  "I just close my eyes and do it."  And so, he did.  I, on the other hand, did not.  I was too busy wondering how to break it to Billy this morning.  He'd planned to watch his big moment of glory with us this morning.  After much thought, here's what I came up with:  "Those @#$%'n bastards cut you out."  To which Billy responded, "@#$% Jay Leno!"  Like mother, like son.