SJG Running For Oscar Hostess

Elect me hostess and I will dress like this

It is never too late to enter politics.  The SJG is excited to announce my campaign for Oscar Hostess.  Quite frankly, I'm hurt that my name hasn't been thrown into the ring, already, alongside Kermit the Frog.  Sure, the famed Muppet would be an inspired choice, but so would the SJG.  This is me, stepping into the spotlight. Elect me Oscar Hostess and I will make the show watchable again with my charming patter, intermittent kvetching and dance moves.  I will make a giant kugel and serve it to the audience.  I will sing a medley of Oscar tunes. I will do-re-mi-fa-so-lo-ti-do you till you beg for mercy.  I will change costumes every five minutes, on stage, based on suggestions from the audience.  "We want Liza!"  Done.  "We want Cher!"  Done.   "We want Helen of Troy!"  Okay.  Why not!  I will know when to quip and when to shut up.  I will keep the show going.  I will choreograph.  I will economize.  I will bring it, if it's the last thing I do.  So let me entertain you.  Let me make you smile.  Put me on stage at the Kodak and I will deliver, and cut your taxes at the same time.  A vote for the SJG is a vote for change.