Don't Rap With Fire

Scott D at the mic

Never follow a fire-eater, or date one

Talk about chutzpah.  The other night, the college boy, aka Scott D, performed one of his rap songs at a campus talent show in front of 80 students.  I asked him how it went:  "Pretty good.  Not necessarily the most lively audience, but the lines got a lot of laughs, unless they were just laughing at my wardrobe."  "Did you get any feedback?"  "One guy said my Krafts singles line was genius."  "Rap it for me, with feeling."  "Writing these rhymes to you like a love letter, stackin cheddar Kraft Singles, Scott Deezy wit the funky hip hop jingles."  "I'd have to agree.  It is genius.  What were some of the other acts?" "There was this one girl.  She ate fire."  "What?"  "She was a fire-eater."  "You're kidding."  "She didn't really eat fire.  It was an illusion."  "I'm glad to hear it."  "I figured you would be." "So, honey, you went up against a fire-eater."  "Yeah."  "That's a tough act to follow."  "I went before her."  "Work with me here, would ya?  Next time you perform, don't share billing with a fire-eater."  "Okay."  "You can't compete with that." "Got it."  "In fact, keep away from any girls who eat fire.  That's just a good rule, in general."  "No fire-eaters."  "Right." "What if they're Jewish?" "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."