Friday, November 11, 2011

Happy Numerology Day!

Today is 11-11-11.  This is supposed to be significant for all sorts of cockamamie reasons, none of which I understand.  For the SJG, 11-11-11 adds up to bupkis.  Since birth, numbers have not been my friend.  The mere mention of math sends me into post-traumatic-shock.  I see myself in my little chair at Warner Avenue, staring at math problems and feeling dumb.  I see myself asking my dad to help me with my math homework. Good with numbers, really good, he felt strongly that New Math, as they called in back then, was the worst idea ever and made no sense.  "I know that, Daddy, that's why I'm asking you for help."  "They should go back to the Old Math."  These scenes always ended badly, with me crying hysterically.  In junior high, you may be shocked to learn that my affinity for math failed to emerge.  I see myself sitting in 7th grade math class at Emerson, focusing more on the the cute boy in the seat in front of me than on the blackboard.  This trend continued, and by 10th grade, they put me in Algebra Sloooow.  Math for Dummies!  At first, I was humiliated.  Until I saw who was in the class with me.  Cute boys.  11th and 12th grade football players.  Jocks!  Guys I never would've met if they hadn't been as math-phobic as the SJG.  Algebra Slow was a gift from above.  I had the best time ever.  The teacher had just been through EST (remember EST?) and insisted we call her Terry, not Mrs. Gray.  She talked a lot about agreements, as in "we have an agreement you won't talk while I'm talking."  She was my hero.  "See you in Geometry Slow," I said at the end of the year.  More cute boys.  More fun.  A+.  For a brief period in my life, I kinda liked math (for all the wrong reasons).  And then came the SATs.  You may be shocked to learn that Math for Dummies did little to prepare me for Real Math for Smarties.  So happy 11-11-11.  I hope this day adds up to greatness for you and yours.  I plan to subtract it quickly from my memory.

6 comments:

  1. 1st...sorry about Billy Crystal getting the Oscar gig over you. 3 words: You Were Robbed!

    2nd...having proudly earned a "D" in Algebra in the 7th grade it was quickly clear that 'math wiz' was not a title either of us would ever be crowned. I've got to balance my checkbook today and pray that 11-11-11 means I get it right on the first try. I still hate math too!

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  2. You will always add up to a perfect ten to any math whiz that crosses your path!

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  3. this was hilarious, as always. we had the same 'new math' experiences with our fathers. "my so-called old math works just fine," he'd say, no. 2 pencil in his left hand, martini in his right. thanks for the memories.

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  4. Terre Gray (remember her avant garde spelling). I was in that class (perhaps with you). It was great...on any given day you could ask about the next ski trip (she was head of the ski club) and do NO Algebra for 50 minutes. Then on Mondays, you'd ask how the ski trip went. Did you have Geometry S with Mr. Wawerchak? He was so disgruntled (our class was after the advanced class so we were the retards) that he had us go over homework answers and the popular vote would be the right answer regardless. "Elizabeth, you had the correct answer, but you were outvoted by the class".

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