Saturday, December 3, 2011

Bad Hair Year

On Friday I called an emergency meeting of the SJG Beauty Team.  "Some people have a bad hair day.  I've had a bad hair year.  What do you have to say for yourselves?"  Renee, CEO of the SJG Coiffski, and Lenny, President of the SJG Hair Color Wheel, stared at me, bitterly.  "Well?  Speak up." Renee cleared her throat.  "Listen, SJG, you can't blame us for your baby fine ka-ka hair.  It's impossible to work with, but year after year, we wave our magic wands.  Once you leave the salon, you're on your own."  "Point taken, Renee."  I turned to Lenny, who was busy doing a crossword puzzle.  "Do you have anything to add?"  "What's a five letter word for female canine?  Oh, wait, I've got it.  Bitch."  "How dare you." "Here's the dealio, SJG.  I do what I can with that wispy mess you call hair.  I work the chemical process, I highlight, I get out the gray.  I do my best to help volumize that choppy mop of I don't know what.   Once you leave the salon, you're on your own."  "So what you're both saying is this is on me?  On my DNA?"  "Yes," Renee said.  Lenny looked at me.  "What's a four letter word for are we finished?  I need to get back to my real customers."  "We're done. I don't know what got into me. The truth is, I'd be nowhere without my Beauty Team," I said, handing them each a fancy gift-wrapped bottle of wine.  "Group hug?"  "What's a two letter word for I don't think so?" Lenny asked.  "No," Renee said.  "Guys, come back here, I was just kidding.  I love you.  I'd be lost without you." Meeting adjourned.


  1. I saw you Thursday and your hair looked great. This from a brother with a shave head (so what do I know). Still you look great and I like your current subtle highlights. Again, what do I know?