SJG Nixes Trade

"I was all ready to live in Sherman Oaks.
I had my bags packed and everything."

After all he's done for us, the eldest son was relieved to learn late Sunday night that he wasn't being traded to another family.  "We're not the Lakers," I reassured him.  "Even though you're getting older and your game isn't what it used to be, we still appreciate all the joy you've brought us, the nonstop nachas, so we've decided to keep you."  Naturally, the college son wondered where he stood in the highly-contentious negotiations. "Well, honey, in all honesty, we were thinking of swapping you for Chris Paul," I told him, "but then we thought maybe you'd be a little hurt, so we nixed the trade.  Looks like you're stuck with us, too."