Take My Advice

Dear SJG,
It's my birthday tomorrow.  Is it tacky to walk up and down Ventura Boulevard wearing a sandwich board that declares:  "It's My Birthday, Bitches"?
Just wondering,
Almost B'day Girl

Dear Almost,
It's never tacky to celebrate yourself in public.  I say, why stop at a sandwich board?  Why not include a billboard on Sunset?  You only get this chance once a year.  Go crazy!  You've earned it.
You're welcome,
The SJG

Dear SJG,
It's my birthday tomorrow.  Is it tacky for me to throw myself a surprise party at my favorite restaurant? I've already bought the decorations and reserved the room.  Plus, I've been perfecting my over-the-top look of, "Oh, Sh*t, I'm So Surprised!" for 55 years now, and think this is the year to unveil it. What are your thoughts on this delicate topic?
Just wondering,
Almost B'day Girl

Dear Almost,
It's never tacky to throw yourself a party, just don't be surprised when your friends all claim they left their wallets at home and make you pay for your own surprise.  There's no such thing as a free lunch.
You're welcome,
The SJG