You're Invited... With Conditions

The Presidential Inaugural Committee
requests the honor of the Short Jewish Gal's presence 
to participate in, but not disrupt, the
inauguration of Barack H. Obama
as President of the United States of America
and by disrupt, we mean:
no spontaneous interpretative dances
no Ethel Merman impersonations
no day-glo signs advertising your blog
no noshing of bagels and lox
during the ceremony
unless you've brought enough for everyone.
If you can follow these simple rules,
we'll save you a seat on the aisle,
because we know all about your bladder issues.
If you can't follow these simple rules,
please don't show up and embarrass yourself,
your family, and everyone who knows you,
on Monday, the twenty-first of January
two thousand and thirteen
in the city of Washington