Friday, June 2, 2017

Eat Some Grass And Call Me In The Morning

"I look cute here."

Dear Blakey (aka Sir Blakey of Questionable Royal Lineage),
Thank you for visiting Vilda Chaya Vet Group. We value you as a patient and are kvelling that you chose us as a provider for all your veterinary needs. To help us continue our high quality of service, we invite you to share your feedback.
Till your next appointment...
Your Friends at Vilda Chaya Vet Group
Dear Vilda Chaya Vet Group,
Where do I begin? I thought Mommy, as she calls herself (but only all day -- does she realize she didn't actually give birth to me?) was taking me to the place with the other dogs where I get to play. So I was excited. Any time I get to be with my canines, I'm ecstatic. They just get me. So I walk in and no one's playing. No one looks happy. What gives? Then some guy in blue scrubs takes me in the back and gives me a shot in my ass. What did I do to deserve that? Then he takes me in the front, where Mommy greets me like I've just won the Olympic Gold Medal for Shot Getting. "Good boy! Good boy!" At this point, I just want to get the @#$% out of there and go home and chase squirrels. Then this lady comes in with something in a tiny crate and sets it down next to me. Naturally, I give a sniff. It's what I do. I sniff and sniff and it hits me. "CAT!!!!" I go apesh*t. Cats and me, we've got history. And who puts a cat on the floor in a crate next to a cat-hating dog? Someone as dumb as @#$%, that's who. Other than that, fabulous experience. Five stars. Can't wait to come back and have you stick me with something sharp.
Love,
Sir Blakey

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