Mazel Tov, It's A Table!

"Whatcha doin', honey?" I ask the eldest, in my folksy, Sherman Oaksian way.
"Not much. Just impregnating the marble table."
"Oh, honey, I'm so proud of you."
"I knew you would be."
"Kina hora, in nine months, the table will have a baby table. Finally, I'll be a grandmother."

"The original penetrating sealer."  

Such a miracle, this product!