"What's going on here?" asks Dan, the pest control guy, the latest in a series.
"A wedding reception. Our son just got married."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"What?"
"Marriage makes me sad."
"Oh, okay, so in the backyard -- "
"I like to avoid weddings at all costs. My last two cost me a bundle."
"Concentrate on the big hedge, Dan. "
"My first marriage lasted 30 years, my second one lasted 10, and each time, I lost my house and all my money."
"Uh-huh. So, let's get busy with the spaying."
"My current lady keeps bugging me to get married, and I say, no way, Jose, marriage is for suckers."
"Enough with the marriage talk."
"You gonna have a live band?"
"No."
"My last wedding, a buddy of mine played guitar. It was sweet."
"I'm going inside now."
"Like I told my lady, why buy the cow when the milk's free?"
"Let me know when you're done."
"You gonna have a DJ?"
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