Break Me Off A Piece Of That

I ate too much chocolate again.

To a short nervous Jew like myself, Halloween combines two of my favorite things:  Chocolate and Worry. I love chocolate. I'm a little bit prone to worry. On Halloween, I worry about eating too much chocolate. It's the perfect booty bag of dysfunction. So tonight, once again, I'll try not to gorge on the candy that spooks me like a grandmother with a Ph.D in guilt. "I made this Kit Kat special, just for you.  God forbid you should let it go to waste." I'll try not to worry that no one will show up to claim the Snickers, the Reeses, the M&Ms. Leftover candy is almost as scary as my former attorney, Jack O. Lantern III, who's still trying to burn my ass. Tonight I'll remember the words of my Russian ancestors:

"A pumpkin is only a big fat squash with its eyes cut out."

10/31/13