Good Cop, Candy Cop

"How many, ma'am?"
"I don't know."
"You know."
"I don't know!"
"Spill it."
"Five."
"Five? You expect me to believe that?"
"Six. I mean six."
"Six, huh?"
"Six. Definitely."
"Six plain?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Six plain? Six peanut? Which is it?"
"Six trick-or-treaters."
"Don't play games with me, little missy."
"I'm not, I swear."
"How many plain? How many peanut?"
"Um...."
"You want me to take you down to the station? Cuz I can do that."
"Officer Pez! Please don't take me down to the station."
"For the last time, how many plain? How many peanut?"
"I lost track."
"You. Lost. Track."

"I started with the Peanut. Two bags. Fun size."
"Two?"
"Okay, three. Then I switched to the Plain. One bag."
"One?"
"Then two more."
"And after that?"
"After that, I stopped counting. The Dodgers hadn't scored yet. I got nervous."
"You don't care about baseball."
"I do care. I care now. I don't know what's come over me. It's so not me."
"So. How many Pez?"
"Pez? No Pez. Sorry."
"You should've gone with the Pez. Fewer calories."
"I wasn't aware of that."
"Next year, go with the Pez."
"I'll think about it."
"You'll think about?"
"What's to think about? Next year, forget the Plain, forget the Peanut. I'm going with the Pez."
"I'll be back to make sure."