Royally Engaged

(Ye Olde England) This morning, Prince Harry and the lovely American actress Meghan Markle announced their royal engagement, singling out a delightful Hallmark Channel movie as the initial source of their romance. "I was at Nottingham Cottage, chilling royally, when suddenly this life-changing movie called When Sparks Fly popped up on the telly," Prince Harry explained, "and it just so happened to be written by the Royal Family's dear friend the Short Jewish Gal of Sherman Oaks. You know the SJG is our go-to on All Things Jewish. She taught Wills & Kate how to do a proper hora at their wedding. She's shared her famous kugel with us on numerous holidays. When I saw the SJG's name, I knew I was in for a fun romantic comedy with a guaranteed happy ending. And isn't that what the world needs now more than ever -- more Hallmark movies by the SJG?" The crowd of reporters responded, collectively, with, "Indeed!" and "Do tell!"

The prince continued, "Within seconds, this simply stunning actress named Meghan Markle appeared on screen and I was... what's the word the SJG always uses? Farklempt. My royal eyes bulged with intrigue, my royal heart went pitter pat, and I realized, blimey, I must meet her! I had my people call her people and in no time, I jetted, royally, to Canada and met Meghan whilst she filmed Suits. Can you say fireworks? Of course, the SJG has already reserved a spot under the chuppah, and Meghan and I plan to invite her over for bagels and lox as soon as possible. We've decided to say our vows in Yiddish, and who better to help us than the diminutive commoner who brought us together?"